Thursday, April 13, 2006
Saw Pearl today...
Only got to stay about 15 minutes. She was very tired, but just so happy that I came by. She was having a rough day. She hadn't had lunch yet and Hospice was coming by, so I left and let her get on with her day.
Manners/weakness/self-expression - connection?
So, I heard an interview today in regards to manners and the person was saying we are so missing them in our world today. I totally agree with that and it got me to thinking, what happened to manners? I haven't brought this up on here, because of just sheer embarrassment, but it fits and will help me explain my thinking. I was going out the other night to meet some friends. It was still cold so I had my big coat on and it's a bubble coat, for lack of a better explanation. The elevator was out and I'm walking down the stairs. This little girl and her mom are coming up the stairs and the girl is about 8 or so. She looks up at me and says, "Where you going fatty?" Well, I was just shocked, as was the mother. The mom starts getting on to the little girl and the little girl is just laughing. She doesn't care. So, what was wrong there? I know children will be children, but that doesn't give them the right to be rude. The mother was mortified and was telling the little girl she would get time out and it didn't phase the child at all. She still just laughed. At that point the mother popped her, I think on the head, and the child yells "Ouch!" The mom's reply, "you think?!" LOL, I did enjoy that part, but the whole experience has really made me think. Are you too lax in our teaching of manners? I think a lot of times people see that if you have manners and don't react, respond or the like, that makes you weak.
When someone wrongs you, and you don't react because it's not "good manners" to be rude, does that send a message to people that you are weak? I know since moving here to NYC, I've felt more free to say things that I probably shouldn't or wouldn't have ever said before. I certainly thought it, but now, I don't know, I feel freer to say them. It certainly doesn't make it right, but it does happen.
When I first relayed the incident to Erika she said, please tell me that the mother didn't say, "sorry, that's just her way of expressing herself?"! I was happy to report that wasn't' the case, but have thought a lot about that too. Are we rearing ill-mannered children that eventually grow into to ill-mannered adults because we allow too much self-expression? I know I don't have children of my own, but I have worked with TONS of children and a lot of rebellious children. I know that the thing they crave the most is consistency and discipline. They really do want to learn boundaries and limitations. Without them, they don't tend to fit into the mix as well. They grow up being completely selfish and so unpleasant to be around. Do you have any friends that have children and you see them coming, with the children in tow, and you automatically cringe?
Of course, as a child, when you have no boundaries and no consequences for your actions, then why not push the envelope? I mean, they are just expressing themselves, right? Unfortunately they will eventually express themselves all the way to jail. I've seen that first hand though Camp Tracey. I hear people say all the time, well, he/she is just being a kid, why not let them? To an extent, I so agree with that, but in other areas, I absolutely do not. The first time they face a police officer, the excuse, I was just being me, won't hold up. You can't just turn the switch at 18 and say, OK, all the "expression" I let you have all these years, it's now time to stop that and be an adult. Doesn't work, but so many people think it does. Studies have shown that children learn the best when they are young, that works for all things, not just math and languages.
Now, remember these are MY thoughts and MY opinions, but I certainly welcome yours.
When someone wrongs you, and you don't react because it's not "good manners" to be rude, does that send a message to people that you are weak? I know since moving here to NYC, I've felt more free to say things that I probably shouldn't or wouldn't have ever said before. I certainly thought it, but now, I don't know, I feel freer to say them. It certainly doesn't make it right, but it does happen.
When I first relayed the incident to Erika she said, please tell me that the mother didn't say, "sorry, that's just her way of expressing herself?"! I was happy to report that wasn't' the case, but have thought a lot about that too. Are we rearing ill-mannered children that eventually grow into to ill-mannered adults because we allow too much self-expression? I know I don't have children of my own, but I have worked with TONS of children and a lot of rebellious children. I know that the thing they crave the most is consistency and discipline. They really do want to learn boundaries and limitations. Without them, they don't tend to fit into the mix as well. They grow up being completely selfish and so unpleasant to be around. Do you have any friends that have children and you see them coming, with the children in tow, and you automatically cringe?
Of course, as a child, when you have no boundaries and no consequences for your actions, then why not push the envelope? I mean, they are just expressing themselves, right? Unfortunately they will eventually express themselves all the way to jail. I've seen that first hand though Camp Tracey. I hear people say all the time, well, he/she is just being a kid, why not let them? To an extent, I so agree with that, but in other areas, I absolutely do not. The first time they face a police officer, the excuse, I was just being me, won't hold up. You can't just turn the switch at 18 and say, OK, all the "expression" I let you have all these years, it's now time to stop that and be an adult. Doesn't work, but so many people think it does. Studies have shown that children learn the best when they are young, that works for all things, not just math and languages.
Now, remember these are MY thoughts and MY opinions, but I certainly welcome yours.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Messenger vs. cabbie!
Oh, my, goodness! Gen and I are out at lunch and about to cross the street. A messenger guy on a bicycle comes by, he has the right of way and yep, a cab hits him! Right in front of me and Gen. The messenger guy was OK, but totally shaken up. The cab driver, just sits there, doesn't get out or anything. We all start yelling at him and telling the messenger guy, don't let him get away and get his info and stuff. Finally the cab driver gets out and says, hey dude, you alright?! LOL, I'm like, what? You just hit him with a car and it takes you minutes to finally say, dude you alright?! Oh heck no, we are so going to need more than that!
It brings back my own getting hit in the street story! *shivers* :-)
It brings back my own getting hit in the street story! *shivers* :-)
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
So you want to protest?
Tuesday night I had a meeting at 5:30 on Broadway and Duane. I'm meeting Daniel and need to be on time. Well, I left work at 5:00 on the dot, got to Broadway and Anne and all the streets are closed. I tell the first police officer that I need to get through and he's like, nope, streets are closed. So, I'm like, OK, I'll walk down to Church and go over a few more blocks. It's closed for like 10 blocks. Each police officer I see, not letting me through. I see the person we're meetig with and yell for her, she sees me, and finally I make it through. So, as we get to Broadway, I realize this is the immigration protest! Oh my goodnesss, they are so loud and so big in number. Daniel had to walk from Canal street all the way down, fairly good little walk. It was just really interesting to see all the people and all the signs and flags and everything.
I don't know all the ins and outs of the issue and exactly what they are protesting, but I do find it odd that certain "Americans" are trying to keep "foreigners" out. Aren't we all foreigners, save the Native Americans? It's so crazy to think about it, but I guess some feel that possession really is 9/10ths of the law. We've been here long enough, it's ours. We determine when you can come to our country, we determine if you can be one of us, yet what really is one of us? Do we really have any rights here? We're basically all just borrowing space that really didn't belong to our ancestors and yet we want to deny others of doing exactly that.
I don't know all the ins and outs of the issue and exactly what they are protesting, but I do find it odd that certain "Americans" are trying to keep "foreigners" out. Aren't we all foreigners, save the Native Americans? It's so crazy to think about it, but I guess some feel that possession really is 9/10ths of the law. We've been here long enough, it's ours. We determine when you can come to our country, we determine if you can be one of us, yet what really is one of us? Do we really have any rights here? We're basically all just borrowing space that really didn't belong to our ancestors and yet we want to deny others of doing exactly that.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
The Guardians
I went to see a play last night, 4/4/06, with Alicia. It was off Broadway and it was called The Guardians. It was the first time I had been to a play that was a narrative. It was different, but pretty good. It was about the Abu Grahib (sp?)prison guard, the woman and the journalist who leaked the pictures. It's fictional, but based on a true story, of course.
It was interesting to see what the writer felt would be this woman's perspective of what happened to her and what took place. It was kind of eye opening. I truly feel that she was wrong in her actions, but were all those actions soley hers or was she following orders? This is, of course, a huge debate and the whole right and wrong aspects, but to see "her" talk about it was really interesting.
At what point do you say no and then at what point do you say yes, but when do you throw the smile in there? Did she smile in the pics because she was really loving what was happening or was it because she felt that's what she was supposed to do to fit in with "the boys?" This play raised very thought provoking questions about motivations, loyalties and ramifications of those two. She compared it to women in pornography in the fact that they all have a smile on their face, but why? Do they do that because that's what's expected of them from men? Do the men care why she's smiling or just the fact that she is?
It was interesting to see what the writer felt would be this woman's perspective of what happened to her and what took place. It was kind of eye opening. I truly feel that she was wrong in her actions, but were all those actions soley hers or was she following orders? This is, of course, a huge debate and the whole right and wrong aspects, but to see "her" talk about it was really interesting.
At what point do you say no and then at what point do you say yes, but when do you throw the smile in there? Did she smile in the pics because she was really loving what was happening or was it because she felt that's what she was supposed to do to fit in with "the boys?" This play raised very thought provoking questions about motivations, loyalties and ramifications of those two. She compared it to women in pornography in the fact that they all have a smile on their face, but why? Do they do that because that's what's expected of them from men? Do the men care why she's smiling or just the fact that she is?
Tuesday's with Pearl...
For whatever reason, it seems that I am going to see her more on Tuesdays. I swear we aren't trying to write a book for Oprah's club! LOL
I went to see her yesterday and it was good to just get a hug. She wasn't doing so well, but she was sitting up in her chair. She's having a few issues, but her spirits were pretty good. While there a friend of hers from West Chester came in, Hannah. Not my Hannah, a different one, but she was a sweet lady. She brought a cake and they insisted that I eat with them. Wasn't really that good, but it wasn't really about the taste, right? It was about the fellowship. Hannah is an x-ray tech, or used to be. She must be in her 70's, and a very sharp lady. She was very intrigued by my southerness, unlike the lady at the play! LOL
It was a nice visit and we've made a date for next week too, yep, on a Tuesday! :-)
I went to see her yesterday and it was good to just get a hug. She wasn't doing so well, but she was sitting up in her chair. She's having a few issues, but her spirits were pretty good. While there a friend of hers from West Chester came in, Hannah. Not my Hannah, a different one, but she was a sweet lady. She brought a cake and they insisted that I eat with them. Wasn't really that good, but it wasn't really about the taste, right? It was about the fellowship. Hannah is an x-ray tech, or used to be. She must be in her 70's, and a very sharp lady. She was very intrigued by my southerness, unlike the lady at the play! LOL
It was a nice visit and we've made a date for next week too, yep, on a Tuesday! :-)
It's snowing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK, that doesn't sound like a big deal, but ummm, yeah, it's April 5th, 2006! It's not just a small snow, it's HUGE flakes and it's coming down pretty heavy! I'm so excited. I so wish it would stick, but I know it won't. Either way, this has made me such a happy girl! Rock on snow!!!!!!!!!!!!
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